Me

When I was (Angi), going through one of the many horrible health problems I have suffered in the past, & thought I was 'done', my prayers reflected the character growth God was nurturing in my heart during this time of crisis. Initially, I begged & pleaded for healing, & for Him to take away my pain & restore my health. But, the more I prayed, the more I realized that I didn't just need healing, I needed Him-- to depend on Him & need only Him.
Slowly, my prayers shifted from, "Lord, do what I want" to "Lord, Your will be done."
Healing eventually became secondary to the hope of knowing Him better & trusting in Him, knowing that He loved me, & wanted the best for my life, even if I didn't understand what that was at the time.
As I yielded to His work in my life, God met me in the midst of my pain. Thankfully, in His time. I am convinced I became healed because I finally learned to 'let go' & trust Him, no matter what!! I started as  a crying, upset person, begging for healing, to finally just resting in my heavenly Father, getting closer to Him, day by day, knowing that He loved me, knowing that He was with me, no matter what. It got to the point that I quit asking for healing, & just wanted more of Him.
Slowly, I started noticing I was getting better. The pain wasn't so great, I could eat again, little by little, I wasn't as weak anymore. Not only did God heal me, my physical body, but He healed my heart, He made me stronger, spiritually, closer to Him, to where I now am, in Him, knowing that, no matter what, I am His child, forever loved, forever held close. & what an AWESOME feeling that is!
It is a lesson I carry with me every single day of my life! I know that each day, & each moment is now carried on, truly, because of Him. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be typing this right now. I should(if I had listened to the Doctors), be dead. I know that EACH MOMENT of my life comes from the loving hand of God, & ALL things must work together for my good, because I belong to Him.
Our challenge is not to receive God's discipline (life's trials) as something to conquer or quell, but as a means to surrendering our souls even more, that we might be drawn ever deeper into His heart, & become closer to Him, which is & should be our ultimate goal, but sometimes, we don't see it, until a 'trial' hits us in the face.
 I know God healed me so I can talk about it, & help others, but I also know God healed me because He loves me....& that matters more to me than any other reason.